HEART TO HEART | Believe In Yourself

If you have to go back to 10 years ago, would you imagine yourself in today's position? Would you ever thought this is what you will be doing now? I never thought my life will be this way if I were to think about my 10 years plan back then. I always thought (when I was 20 years old), I would be married by the age of 24, have 3 kids by the age of 30, have a striving career before I hit 30. Those are my plans but guess what? They did not happen. I planned so hard to be "successful" before the age of 30 but I forgot that life in unpredictable. Things don't go your way all the time. And what's the fuss about having to be ALL THAT before 30? As I see my life right now and how much changes I have gone through for the past 8 years, oh boy. What a surprise! Everything comes together when I was reaching the age of 30 and I have no regrets. Everything falls into places perfectly.

I met my boyfriend (now husband) at the age of 28.

I got married at the age of 30.

I got a baby when I was 31.

I am finally happy with my career path and personal life at the age 32.

When I was 25 years old, I was lost, I have no idea where is my direction in this life. I don't know what I wanna do with my life in career wise and my personal relationship. At this age, my career was a blur and I just ended my 4 years of relationship. I was a wreck. I argued with my parents constantly, I rebelled. Yes, this petite woman was a rebel. Early 2008 was not my finest year but you know what, after all that drama, I managed to gain back the pieces bit by bit.

CAREER

I quit my job in the middle of 2008 without knowing what to do for my source of income but I do know one thing for sure, that I want to be my own boss. Honestly, the decision to start my online baking, Little Bakerina was made spontaneously. Yes I love baking and I enjoy doing it very much but can I really survive by doing my own business? My dad is a businessman and he always encourages his kids to be involved with business. In June 2008, I had a total of RM500 in my pocket for the first month of my business. It's not a lot, but the satisfaction that I get from doing everything from scratch really motivates me. I can proudly say that I did everything on my own from A-Z, which I never thought I could. But of course I am forever grateful with the help and supports from my parents, sisters and my close friends. Alhamdulillah, Little Bakerina keep going strong, keep on moving forward until October 2014. 6 years of sweats and hard work made me happy and proud. 

Looking back at all those cakes and cupcakes I made, oh boy, I can't even believe I can do it! I stopped my baking business in October 2014 because I was busy preparing for my wedding in December 2014. And the rest of the story you probably know, well Marissa happened. :P I really do miss baking so much, I will get back into it one day, I promise. Little Bakerina will always have a special place in my heart. It taught me how to be a business person, how to deal with customers and of course I developed my skills through this learning experience that I can never get anywhere else. Be brave, be bold. Take the risk! Do what YOU want to do. Be your own boss, achieve those dreams. Don't be afraid to start from the bottom because someday you will be at the top. If I can do it, you most definitely can too! :)

Even in those baking years, I know something is missing, I know I wanted to do something else. I started blogging in 2008, but I gotta admit that I started keeping logs of my journal in Friendster then I switched to Blogger. My blog was very personal back then, sometimes childish *hahaha* and it was really just about my life. By end of 2012, I started reviewing beauty products that I like, hauls and stuff, and I was really enjoying that kind of blog posts. 2013 was the year I really focused on beauty and lifestyle. Joining The Butterfly Project Malaysia was one of the best choice I've made because after joining them so many events, my blog has been getting a little recognition. I am proud of my little achievements in blogging that gives me the opportunity to work with wonderful brands. And YOU should be proud of your achievements too! Take the credit! Then I started of my YouTube channel which was kinda spontaneous too. I never planned to upload videos frequently, but hey, I go with the flow and I am happy with my channel. It is growing slowly, but surely. :)

When I first started joining TBP, I noticed most of the beauty bloggers are way more younger than me. There were some who are merely just 19 years old! I'm not gonna lie that I was pretty nervous being the 'older' beauty blogger in the community. but you know what? Age does not defy who you are. Do not let anyone tell you that you are too young or too old to achieve your dreams. Take your time and enjoy life. Take one step at a time. Nobody said that YOU NEED TO BE SUCCESSFUL by the early age of adulthood. There's plenty of successful people that became successful at the age of 30 and above. Step back and enjoy the ride.

RELATIONSHIP

I got married when I was 30. 30 is considered late by most people especially our elders. Both of my sisters got married when they were 24 and you can just imagine the pressures I got from the surroundings. It was hard, it was tough. When my relationship of 4 years ended, I was devastated and miserable. I thought "Why is this happening to me? What is wrong me?". I recovered from that downfall several months later and during that time I couldn't care less about being in a relationship. I was in and out of relationship right until end of 2011, and honestly I am done trying to find a partner. I was 28, no boyfriend and people keep asking me when will I get married. And the fact that people keep commenting that I will have trouble becoming pregnant at the age of 30. And also, since I have irregular period, people also keep saying that I CAN'T HAVE KIDS! Seriously? Sighhhh, the never ending penyibuk-penyibuk! But Allah is great, the moment I stop looking for 'the one', my husband  appeared into my life (tiba-tiba je muncul *hahaha*) and we became an item in June 2012. Got engaged in June 2014 and got married 2014. And guess what, we got Marissa even before we hit our 1st Anniversary!

I know most girls can relate to this but listen what I am about to say. Never listen to people. They will judge you and say things about you. So what if you get married at the age of 30? 40? 50? It's YOUR life, not theirs! I would always say this to my single friends. God has better plans for you, trust in Him. Your life will fall into places without you realizing it. When I was 28, I was DONE. I was really fed up and I came to a point that I don't want to get married anymore but Allah knows best. He saves me the best for last. :')

As someone who is turning 32 in a couple of weeks, I can say that I have been through A LOT in life. It's a wonderful feeling when my younger friends come up to me and ask me advices on relationship and career path. I am not an expert but my experiences is my teacher. I am more than happy when I can give answers, advises and solutions to their problems. Being a Difference Maker means to be able to inspire, motivate and support the people around me to be a better person inside and out. Be brave, take risks, achieve your dreams. You've got nothing to lose. If you fall down, get back up. If you fail, well honey, that is your 'teacher' right there. Failure makes you better and wiser, trust me.

Thank you for reading my lengthy post. I feel the need to express my feelings because somehow I feel the society now is too competitive. All I can say, enjoy your youth, take one step at a time and enjoy the ride. 10 years from now when you look back, you will understand what am I talking about. :)

Thanks for reading!